Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Togue CSA Bear 2017

It was Bear's big togue ceremony last night. Words cannot even describe how beautiful it was!
This school of ours really knows how to pull off the wow factor and always have.
The convocation was no exception.

Was so amazing to watch Bear and his friends while we have known forever- graduate and complete this milestone of their lives.

And we beamed in pride as they called his name and showed a big picture of him across the 20 screens set up across re huge church with his program ( Defi sports ) where he will go next year ( cegep in Health Sciences ) and a picture of him in sec 1 when he started and now with cap and gown .

And then a special distinction for excellence in Defi Sports award was announced with his name!!!

Hubby and I squeezed our hands together in pride. Our boy :)

Was a beautiful ceremony and then tons of pics with friends after. Then went and picked up his girlfriend Catherine and went to lake a did a photo shoot of them as a couple and some solos of our graduate 

Then my mom had prepared all here at home with grad stuff and balloons and we ordered in a delicious Lebanese buffet and enjoyed a nice evening eating outside. Was nice to relax with all the kids and not rush.

Gifts and desserts were a highlight too. 

It was truly an amazing night. An incredible 5 years at a wonderful school where we have watched our boy turn to man.

We are so proud Bear of your outstanding accomplishments academically, athletically and socially. We truly believe the world is there for you to choose where you can contribute due to all your diverse talents and skills, fierce determination and leadership 

Excited to see your next phase!

We love you forever and ever and ever and are deeply proud!

Tuesday, June 06, 2017

Defi Sport Finale

Bear is graduating this year . Not only from his high school but from the sport program he has done for 5 years within the school.

Friday was their final exam of this program and was a day of extreme physical and some mental challenges. A mix between Amazing Race and Survivor . It is planned all year by sports teachers and past graduates and took place yesterday in the rain . He was at school by 6am 

His team of 4 came in 4th place ! Out of 20 very athletic and talented teams ! Go Bear !

The chariot he built held up ! Yahoo !

Anyways very very proud of our Bear ! Defi sports has been an equally amazing experience as was for Chase . So glad they had this on their lives as it has been so enriching. And exhausting as you can see from the bus they are pushing below!!!

Diamond dancing Girl

I often mention how much dance Beauty does , but I am not sure I have ever mentioned just how much. When shows and competitions could be 38 hrs a week! That is more than many people's full time jobs 
Ps - she goes to school

She is part of quite a serious dance program at school for last three years and does ballet , modern , contemporary, jazz , flaminco, folklore , lyrical and lots of other types .

At school she is also part of a competition hip hop team.

Out of school she is part of a popular montreal hip hop company team called Clique . Most of the year she was on a second team called Entourage with the same external center .

She is really a wonderful and talented dancer in all generes but her passion and real talent is in hip hop . She has really found her thing in life . 

We went to the last competition of the season yesterday in Gatineau and glad we took afternoon of as was best performance of the year with a new routine . They totally rocked! Won Diamond too:)
Clique had a tough competition season so this win was unexpected and really appreciated!

We are so proud of our dancing girl . It's amazing to see her perform and truly beautiful to watch

Monday, June 05, 2017

Science lover

There once was a girl who was related to me
She was approx 15.5 yrs old 
She rarely in all her school years reviewed material of tests at the dinner table . (Like as in never )

Well this girl apparently reviewed and practiced science one evening in front of her family . Many times .

The study of the penis . At the last minute the girl added in the vagina too .

Usually science is not a forte for this girl . With this test she knew it  all by heart 

This girl is a very very funny girl
Any guesses who she is ?

The End 

Friday, May 19, 2017

I am A Writer

(written 1.5 weeks ago)

It's no coincidence I bet that yesterday I really got into some serious planning of my next book with an editor 

It's no coincidence that the week I had a massive talk with my mom about my life where I had the courage to discuss and ask questions about my childhood and adolescence that weighed heavily on my mind .

It's no coincidence that the week I went to a therapist I had not seen in 2 yrs for one session and poured my heart out on a very specific trait about myself I don't like to think about , don't like to admit and have not talked about to anyone before.. And want to change 

It's no coincidence that I reached out to an important person in my life that has kinda left over the years with no ryhme or reason over the years and whom I miss and I confronted this week and they got back to me finally with a time to speak 

All of these " coincidences " within the same few days ended me up in the middle of the day by the lake on a bench where we scattered my dads ashes 6 yrs ago looking out to the water and sky as I often do . Writing . Writing my next book .

As I said in my eulogy to my dad which may have been one of the hardest things I have done to my life to date - giving his life beauty and meaning while at the same time openly admitting that he and I had a very difficult relationship for many many years and that I had basically abandoned him for at least 5 of them.
I ended this heartfelt , complex , sad and beautiful eulogy with the words . 

" It is now time to put pen to paper and allow music in my heart "

And I have slowly .. And surely .

Yesterday at the lake - it all came together . I accepted and realized that yes ... I am a writer .
 I am already a published author . But this next book ? It's mine completely mine .

It may be the first time in my life that I do work that is really really really hard . It's no low lying fruit I tell you to write your own book . With no clue or care about the outcome . No goal of achievement really ( although we all know I have big plans for it but is not the main driver of writing it )

It could even be considered one of the first times I feel completely passionate about something I am doing for work . That may sound Surprising given I have an amazing career and do extremely well and do so much of what I love in my career ? Trust me it's Surprising to me too . I love my work a ton on so many ways . More than many ways . I adore it .

But this writing ? This is what passion feels like . ( I guess as not sure I have ever felt it ! ) it's a bit of an obsession , combined with adrenaline . It's waking up early with thoughts swirling in my mind all around , it's planning out my day in accordance of 30 mins I get to write , and it's feeling a deep satisfaction within my soul for no apparent reason ; it's doing something I love without much rhyme or reason and not too much of a plan ; its knowing I have words to get out of me without understanding why ; it the feeling of doing something in the grey vs within black and white . It is the feeling of even going a bit crazy actually. 

It's Whatever and Whenever 

It's finally .. Finally . Feeling free 

And most importantly feeling free to  identify with being a writer .( anong many other things ! ) 
And feel the thoughts  my dad might have  felt as a writer too . And to allow his ashes back into my heart in small and simple ways . To allow myself to identify with him in tiny ways; to identify as his daughter and not only my mom's girl. It's opening my heart up to the possibility that I had two parents who raised me and letting those feelings and possibilities flow through my veins.

Only because I am free now. I felt and I spoke.

By the lake 

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

A Really Special Mothers Day

Last year was a bit of a mess  ( a lot !!! ) on Mother's Day and I wrote about it on my blog . I had my mom up at cottage and in the morning the kids were just really not attentive to the specialness of the occasion and very dismissive .  It was extremely rude and hurtful as my mom and I always put so much emphasis on their special occasions .My mom and I were insulted and walked out of the house angry and went out for breakfast the two of us ! We came back to a big apology sign on the door and many tears - but it upset us a lot . And those kids learned a lesson I assure you !!!!

This Mother's Day was the complete opposite . Like by far the nicest one I ever had .
Beautiful cards from each that took time to make and attention with beautiful heartfelt messages . Each kid gave me a wonderful gift that was so carefully chosen and Beauty made me a playlist too and wrote out all the songs by hand for my moods of the day . Was so extremely sweet !

And then my card from hubby had a bike on it and told me to go to garage and he bought me an electric bike !  I am thrilled as the plan this season is to do some major kayaking and biking but my issue is biking up hills so always makes me say no to the trails . This way I can use as a normal excercise bike most the time but with the hills use there motor . I am super excited and had asked for this but didn't think I would get it and so happy I did !

And a beautiful book of all the things they love about me that the three kids filled in . I bought that one for myself . Reading the things they said though was extremely fun . I gave the same book to my mom . Made us both feel good to be celebrated like that and love for us articulated . Made it feel all worth it 

We went for a walk at the lake my mom and I while the rest cooked us dinner . Delicious and such a long and relaxing evening too . Love those kind of slow and relaxed nights .

And this weekend went with hubby two of us for a short overnight at cottage . Stopped for lunch , shopped for shoes, watched a great movie , had a quiet dinner , walked in the rain with lunch out again and read . Romantic and fun and just what we needed after weeks of not being at our fave part of the world : TRENT . It rained all weekend but I truly could not care less - weather does not matter anymore as long as I am at that cottage !

Was a perfect Mother's Day and so happy our kids learnt to underline the occasion in that special way . I even got texts from their friends and girlffiend and boyfriend . It was really really special .

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms in the world . Those with kids , those who nurture other people's kids , those who are moms to be , Daughters of moms and everyone else who has mom qualities 

Thursday, May 11, 2017

Warm and Fuzzy Feeling

I have never been a fan of this expression of warm and fuzzy. It's weird 
Last night though there was no other way to describe the scenes in front of me and how they made me feel. It was simply - warm and fuzzy in my heart :)

We hosted a late Easter celebration at our house with Hubby’s side of the family with little kids. And for the first time we invited our kid’s boyfriend and girlfriend and friend to join in a family holiday.
And it was amazing 

Beauty brought Simon (yup she has a boyfriend for 4 months now at her tender age of 15)

Bear brought Catherine. Second time we have met her now 

Chase brought his friend Mathieu (aka our adopted son since forever!! )

We did an easter hunt for the little kids that my  mom graciously stuffed all the eggs for and Catherine and Bear his them all around the house. Then we did an Easter hunt for the teens. 
We are yummy food and played a great game all together. Simon and Catherine played piano for us. We played basketball outside between rain showers. We watched all our little great nieces and nephews be kids and be adorable.

Simon is great. He and beauty so cute together and he is so good to her. They adore eachother. Such a kind and gentle and respectful and handsome guy. And beautiful piano player. It was fun to see him with our boys too 

Ignore Chase glasses -its a joke 

Catherine. Smart... Beautiful. Kind. Funny. Everything. Her and Bear are a great match. And she made us delicious cookies too! Great girl and can see that she and I will get along very very well!

What I loved most about this evening was seeing the future. The future ahead of us with our table big and extended and people around us. Our kids as young adults - discovering themselves and their partners and what they want to be in life and with whom. 
I hold it is my highest privilege and honour that we get to be part of this and have it as part of my life.
These years are so incredibly precious to us. Watching them. Learning from them.
Getting to be part of it all 

Lately I have been thinking of an analogy to describe how I am feeling about my kids staying home throughout university years vs moving away in those years. I think about this often as Chase is at that age now and also I have close family and friends in the USA where this is much more expected and customary for kids to leave home at this age. Here in Quebec it is the opposite - kids generally live with their parents until finish undergraduate degree and maybe even master’s degree when applicable 

So I hear many differing stories and opinions and ways of doing things and make me think a lot about my own preferences. Mine shift a lot as hard to have a 19.5 yr. old at home and comes with many pros and cons on any given day of the week. Sometimes I love it and sometimes it makes me go crazy 

But above all the most things I like about it are the family times together. Often. Regularly. Knowing their friends and partners intimately. Having them come in our room almost nightly and share their lives. It trumps all the inconvenience and pros for us 

My analogy is being an Entrepreneur. There are so many things I miss about working in a big corporate Pharma company. So many things. What trumps is all is flexibility in my schedule now all the time. No matter what - that HUGE advantage tops it all off for sure. It makes it all worth it to be an entrepreneur and get to decide whatever I want when I want 

So that's how I feel about Chase staying here in university (for today anyways!) is that we want it. Really badly. Much more than any other aspect . We want all of them to stay home I think (I think!) as I can't even imagine having missed last night and the feelings that come with it all. It trumps everything for me 

And this morning hubby woke up and he said " wasn't that the very best evening?? " and every part of me agreed 

It was worth all the prep and all the work and all the staying home form the cottage. It was worth the entire cleanup and all the chaos. It was worth it all.

Family time with our little family and out larger extended family is where it is at in my heart right now. It's what I have always wanted. I may be big into career right now - maybe always. I may not be domestic or do dishes or feel the need to cook, but my heart has always been and will always be at home. With my beautiful family .

And this week with Chase studying like crazy for finals and home a lot and me working at home a lot each in our cozy chairs side by side in the living room and then taking breaks for snack and lunch and chats? (and laughing and planning about so many things in his life) …I feel this week like the luckiest Mom alive. It's a damn hard, complex but oh so beautiful and fun stage.

PS -wrote two blogs today so scroll down)